The Art of Failure

Three Ways to Make Room for Joy

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:00:16 -0400

Today’s post courtesy of The BridgeMaker blog and Paula G. Rosario, founder of On The Edge of Greatness Coaching & Consulting.

How many times a day do you hear the “little voice” inside your head that sometimes whispers and sometimes shouts “you are just not good enough”?

Read More: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/3-ways-to-make-room-for-joy/

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Tue, 29 May 2012 12:52:54 -0400

"What people forget to realize is every person is unique. We’re all so different because of a..."

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:52:04 -0400

““What people forget to realize is every person is unique. We’re all so different because of a million different reasons. Everyone’s too busy trying to be like everyone else, you have to realize that it’s better to just fully embrace who YOU are. Recognize your history and find out what makes you, YOU. And then fully embrace it.””

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Sun, 27 May 2012 13:00:55 -0400

Identifying Identity

Sat, 26 May 2012 12:56:23 -0400

We are constantly marketing ourselves… as a professional, as a family member, a friend, a partner and countless other roles. But what message are you broadcasting? And does it match who you truly are?

We have to take a close look to define ourselves as we truly are and as we want to be perceived. We are made up of experiences, interests, weaknesses, successes & failures, dreams, goals, personality, beliefs, and so many other things. We are complex. We are both perfect and imperfect. There are parts of yourself you may dislike - part others may dislike… but even these parts make up who you are. Embrace them.

Do not hide the parts of you that are imperfect. Do not be ashamed of the parts you don’t like - but instead work to improve them while showcasing your positives. Every one of us is evolving. We are all creating ourselves in each moment. Create the life you really want - evolve into your best self.

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"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few with catch your heart…..."

Fri, 25 May 2012 12:55:33 -0400

““There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few with catch your heart… pursue those.””

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Thu, 24 May 2012 12:53:34 -0400

Rekindling Passion

Wed, 23 May 2012 13:01:02 -0400

Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find something you were missing.

When you can let go of obligations and do everything from your heart - when you can forgive and let go of the past - when you can trust and let go of fear and lose yourself in gratitude you begin to fall back into love with yourself and your life. You discover the passion you thought you lost and find comfort in what once seemed mundane.

Losing yourself in compassion and rekindling your love for what you need and desire at your core will put you on solid ground to recognize the beauty all around you and understand the possibilities ahead.

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Tue, 22 May 2012 12:57:35 -0400

"We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of..."

Mon, 21 May 2012 13:14:07 -0400

““We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.””

- Robin Sharma

Planning Yourself Out of a Good Time

Fri, 18 May 2012 13:02:59 -0400

A recent trip out of the country prompted a flurry of planning. What was originally a spontaneous vacation became more of a highly scheduled, specifically planned event the closer we became to the travel dates. In truth, this was a relief to me. I am not spontaneous. There is almost nothing in my life that is accomplished wihtout a plan. But my decision to take this trip was the precipice for a concerted effort to change my rigid behavior.

Be careful what you wish for…

The trip started exacly on schedule - no flights were delayed, no travel difficulties were apparent and a timely - and even early arrival - was easily accomplished.

However, as soon as we arrived at our first destination it became immediately apparently that it might be time to toss our schedule out the window. But what about the hours of discussion, research, and careful planning? These things prompted us to hold onto our plans. We resisted being flexible at first and made attempts to manipulate events and the wishes of others involved in order to stick to our plans.

Resistance is futile:

Once it became clear that there would be no way to adhere to our original schedule without upsetting other people, risk missing opporunities to spend time with friends and family, or visit places we found along the way we realized it was time to let go. Resistance was only creating more stress and causing everyone to be in a bad mood. And bad moods should not be allowed on vacation.

Carefully scheduled calendar alerts, tour reservations. and day-by-day details became subject to change at any (and every) moment. And we allowed those plans to fall away - choosing instead to pass time on the schedule of others and and at the whim of opportunities as they presented themselves. At first it was hard to go with the flow, but I eventually responded to each change in the schedule as a welcome part of our vacation. Each activity became an unplanned adventure - an evolving, living and breathing partner in our travels.

There is a fine line between planning to create success and planning yourself right out of a good time. Sometimes it’s worth putting away the schedule, forgetting about the time, and savoring each moment.

"I get up everyone morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time...."

Thu, 17 May 2012 12:53:29 -0400

““I get up everyone morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.””

- E.B. White

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Wed, 16 May 2012 12:57:54 -0400

Attentive to change

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:56:22 -0400

Somtimes the smallest change, conversation, or happening triggers an unconscious reaction that causes us to take notice of our actions and their consecquences. In order to learn and grow from the place we are, we only need to pay attention to these interactions.

We attract to ourselves not only that which we believe we deserve; but also those who reflect who we perceive ourselves to be. These people come in to our lives to help us learn and to grow.

Regardless of the relationship or if - at the time - we feel they are leaving us better or worse, there is no doubt they provide us with an opportunity to grow. And that opportunity is ours to either take or ignore.

The friendships, relationships, and partnerships we choose are all a part of this process - some growth processes are slower than others, but just as important as the growth itself is our attentiveness to positive change and openness to personal growth.

Staying open to change isn’t just about attracting new relationships in an effort to place the responsibility on someone else; it’s about being open to life, love, change, growth, and happiness; taking full responsibility for our own actions and constantly striving to show up as our best selves.

I still have a lot to learn, understand, and explore. I sometimes need to be reminded to be grateful for what I have and where I am regardless of how close or far away I am from where I ultimately want to be or how fast I’m getting there. This is easier said than done. It’s hard to embrace the process and, at the same time, be content with my current position while still intent on moving forward. When it feels like I’m stuck and not moving the last thing on my mind is understanding gratitude in that moment. Frustration sets in and I become focused on where I’m not - and why I am not progressing faster.

But the ultimate goal is not happiness in the future - it is happiness now. And that happiness can be achieved by being grateful in this moment and determined to continue moving forward in the next.

The bottom line is that you will know happiness in the future — and in the present, if you’re open to it and attentive to change. Change comes from within. You alone have to decide if you want that change. You alone determine how you grow and what you attract to yourself. You control how you experience the happiness around you now and the happiness you are creating for the future in the evolution of yourself and your interactions.

"You don’t sacrifice the experience for growth; you drive growth from the quality of the..."

Mon, 14 May 2012 13:02:26 -0400

““You don’t sacrifice the experience for growth; you drive growth from the quality of the experience””

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Sun, 13 May 2012 13:02:29 -0400

"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced."

Sat, 12 May 2012 13:01:38 -0400

““Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.””

- James Baldwin

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Fri, 11 May 2012 12:46:43 -0400

T.A.P. into Kindness

Thu, 10 May 2012 12:58:00 -0400

Yesterday I came across the KindCampaign. If you aren’t already familiar, it is a movement, documentary, and school program based on kindness, awareness, and healing of the negative and lasting effects of girl-against-girl “crime” (bullying). In February 2009, while attending Pepperdine University, two young girls recognized a problem and decided to do something about it. Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson, both affected by female bullying, decided to create a documentary and non-profit that would ultimately change the lives of hundreds of thousands of people across America.

One of the programs they encourage is called T.A.P.: Truth - Apology - Pledge. They ask girls to get involved by posting a “truth”, an “apology” or a “pledge” related to bullying on their site.

It occurred to me while visiting their site that this process [Truth - apology - pledge] is an important concept beyond bullying. This is an important concept for our individual lives. When we limit ourselves with fear, by holding grudges, and clinging to the past we are choosing to stop living. Our hearts begin to harden and our lives become empty and passionless. The process of moving out of fear - letting go of the past - and embracing life again is complex and can be painful. It requires honest self-searching. It requires a commitment to oneself.

For many of us who have been in the quicksand of the past, we understand how painful it is to imagine committing to oneself when your entire being has been so damaged. We do not feel ourselves worthy of being pulled out of the muck.

The first step is Truth:

Expose your truth. Be aware of it and do not be afraid of it. Your own personal truth is not to be ashamed of. It simply is - like it or not. And you cannot move forward until you acknowledge where you are now.

The second step is Apology:

To yourself and to any others you feel necessary. In my own experience, I felt there were people who needed to receive a apologies. It was not easy to explain or to ask for forgiveness, but the apology provided closure for some relationships and stronger bonds in others. The hardest part was the apology to myself. It meant taking responsibility and then honoring myself enough to allow myself forgiveness.

The third step is Pledge:

It is important to pledge not to return to old habits and behaviors. The process of physically pledging and signing an agreement with yourself to continue forward on a better path creates accountability and a physcial reminder of why you made the change and why you are chosing to create a new life.

It’s time to be kind to yourself. What areas of your life do you need to T.A.P. into?

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"Part of the joy of dancing is conversation. Trouble is, some men can’t talk and dance at the..."

Wed, 09 May 2012 12:53:59 -0400

““Part of the joy of dancing is conversation. Trouble is, some men can’t talk and dance at the same time.””

- Ginger Rogers